The Day After…Now What?
After thirteen years of team fees, traveling, lessons, and drama, what’s a parent to do when it all comes to an end? Last week, the second of my two children played her last travel softball game. I’m still taking it in, reflecting on years gone by far too quickly. I’ve been on record saying I wouldn’t miss it when it’s gone as I’ve enough pictures and video to open a museum, however, I think I need to update my stance to say, “I won’t miss most of it, like the countless admission fees, early wake up calls, and drama that appears out of nowhere, but watching your own play the sport they love, that’s what I’ll miss.”
Every parent since the dawn of time has been faced with this situation, sports is finite and father time is undefeated. Although I won’t be paying the travel ball tax any longer, I am fortunate to continue watching my kids play their respective sports in college and I’m certain it will be a different feeling. While at home, I was able to see the work put into their craft and expected to see them on the field/court often. Sometimes that expectation fell short and as a parent I learned to grit my teeth, keep my biased thoughts to myself and remember to be supportive. It was difficult at times and I know I could have done things differently for the better, but all in all, even during the frustrating times, I’m glad to say we made it out alive.
For parents just beginning or in the middle of their journey, here are The Travel Ball Dad’s tips and tricks to survive youth sports:
- Have PERSPECTIVE. The 9U Ohio Valley World Series may feel like the most important tournament in the world that weekend, but the reality is it’s just another opportunity to win a ring that never gets worn or a medal to lose in the dresser. Supporting our kids’ efforts and helping them play sports the RIGHT way with the right ATTITUDE is far superior to inquiring why they didn’t swing at the 3-2 pitch in fourth inning with bases loaded.
- Speak NOW or FOREVER HOLD YOUR PEACE. Align with organizations/coaches who have similar goals to yours. If you feel traveling every weekend across the country playing top tier competition is what you want? Great, there are teams that do that. If you want your kid to join a team that isn’t as serious and wants to stay more regional and focus on development? Great. There are multiple options across the country that can come close to what you’re seeking, but the key is to ask the tough questions prior to the commitment.
- My Kid WILL FALL BEHIND! Often parents feel like if their kids take a season off from a particular sport, they’ll fall behind everyone else when they resume. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. It’s human nature to feel this way, however, I wish I would have let my kids be kids more during the journey. There is value in doing other things and maybe it solidifies their love for the sport from which they are taking a break. At the end of the day, chances are good your kid will not miss a life changing opportunity because they took a break from a sport.
- Run for your LIFE! Youth sports is a petrie dish for drama. It starts off as a little smudge and spreads across the container before you know what happens. Do yourself a favor and run far, far away from being around the parents who are known to gossip. At the end of the day, focus on your kids and if they are safe, happy, and healthy, that’s what matters, not the juicy scoop about which mom is dating the coach.
- WAIT! Some teams have rules in place regarding when you can talk with the coach about issues pertaining to your kid, i.e. playing time. Chances are good if you adhere to a 24 hour rule, regardless of how upset you might be, you’ll have cooled off enough to where a call may not be needed, but if it happens, at least you’ll be in a better state. Remember, you catch more flies with honey than vinegar and if you approach the situation by asking “What can my son/daughter do to improve their time on the field/court?” goes a lot further than, “Why in the hell did my kid only play two innings?”
Best of luck to you and your family as you embark down the Travel Ball river! You’ll encounter things you couldn’t have dreamed, but if you attack it with an open mind and understanding, you’ll improve your chances of making the trip successful.
