Short Term Memory, Long Term Perspective. Tips for Nervous Parents

The beginning of a season or a tournament can drive anxiousness for a lot of parents. Everyone is waiting for that first hit, first goal, or first win. When it doesn’t happen right away, it’s easy to spiral.

After every at bat without a hit or shot that misses the target, the thought creeps in

“Oh no, that’s one less chance this weekend.”

This is where short term memory and long term perspective matter most.

Instead of carrying each result from game to game, I’ve found it helps to flush it and focus on the next opportunity. Forget the last at bat. Forget the last play. Remember how hard your child has worked to even be on that field. For a lot of kids, just being there is already a win.

Along these lines, I was reading The Book of Mental Toughness Mantras by Chris Dorris, that was sent to me by a longtime friend and business coach, Deryl Sweeney. One story shared how Jack Nicklaus once pushed back when a fan reminded him of a three putt in a tournament. Nicklaus wasn’t being defensive, he simply wasn’t willing to carry a negative moment forward. His mindset was simple: flush it, move on, and work to become the best putter ever.

I’ve heard the same idea from a baseball coach my son used to hit with. When reviewing game film, he encouraged players to focus on their best at bats, not the ones that didn’t go well. At first, part of me thought, shouldn’t we break down the bad swings and fix what went wrong?

There’s a time for learning and adjusting. That’s for practice. That’s for coaching.

But in the moment, during games, confidence matters more than perfection.

For athletes, you correct later.

For parents, you support now.

Short term memory keeps pressure from piling up.

Long term perspective reminds us the journey is bigger than one weekend, one slump, or one result.

The next opportunity is always coming.

The only question is whether we’re still stuck on the last one.